Breakwater Bay: A Novel Read online

  “I hate math. I don’t want to go to school, go to college, get out, and go to work in some company where I crunch numbers all day. I want to do something interesting, travel, I don’t know. Something . . .”

  “Creative?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Why am I not surprised? Have you told them how you feel?”

  “Yeah, over and over. If I dare even mention that I’d like to be a writer or a journalist or something, Mom goes berserkers. Accuses me of being ungrateful for all she and Mark do for me. She and Mark? Daddy pays for everything. I looked.”

  “And what does Mark say?”

  Nora snorted a bitter laugh. “Mark just leaves the room. He never stands up to her about anything.

  “All she does is shop, meet ‘the girls’ for drinks at the club, make an occasional appearance at all the right committees at Henley’s school. She arranges playdates, where the mothers just sit drinking coffee and talking about renovating their kitchens while the au pairs take care of the kids. She used to play tennis three times a week until she got too fat.

  “She’s totally useless. And spends money like she worked for it. Mark isn’t such a bad guy. If he weren’t such a wuss, I’d almost feel sorry for him. At least Dad stood up to her.

  “What am I going to do?”

  Meri tucked her feet under her and settled in for the long haul. Nora had obviously been holding these feelings in for a long time. The least Meri could do was listen while they all came out.

  “What do you love? Do you want to be a journalist?”

  “I don’t know. Just something that’s interesting. Like something that does something to make a difference. It’s just that I’m not getting a chance to find out what that is.”

  Meri nodded. And there was the crux of the matter. No choice. Jennifer had determined that Nora would use her math to get an acceptable profession.

  “And Mom will never let me. Every time I suggest anything, she blames it on Dad. Like he put the idea in my head. And he doesn’t. When I called to ask if I could come for the break, she got on the phone and reamed him for plotting against her. She’s crazy and she hates him.

  “Plus she said he misrepresented himself when he asked her to marry him and she was being smothered out there in the boonies. Can you imagine? She called the beach the boonies?

  “And she goes on about how she doesn’t want us getting stuck in some dead-end profession where we’d barely make a living.

  “I hate her when she says stuff like that. Corrigan House is the best, and we never went without anything that I can remember, and Dad sends a load of money every month. I saw the checks. It’s not like he’s indigent.”

  Meri reached for a cookie and offered the box to Nora who shook her head.

  “I don’t know anything about your father’s finances. But he appears to make a good living. And I know he’s well respected and gets excellent reviews. That counts for something.”

  “It does. And he loves it, you can tell. And he used to make up stories and draw pictures about them with me and Lucas in the picture. It was so cool.”

  “It sounds cool. I remember he did something like that when I was growing up. Of course he wasn’t a famous illustrator then.” Meri wrinkled her brow thinking back. “I think he’d just started high school. I hadn’t even started kindergarten yet. I wanted a school book so much like the big kids had. And he drew me one. I’d forgotten that. I bet it’s still in my closet at Gran’s.”

  “See. He’s not selfish.”

  “Of course he isn’t. He looks after Gran . . . and me.”

  “And me and Lucas.”

  “Exactly, he’s responsible and he makes a living at what he loves.”

  “But he doesn’t seem to have a girlfriend or significant other. And he doesn’t go out except to see his editor. I could be good company for him. I wouldn’t be in his way.”

  “Have you talked to Alden about how you feel?”

  “Not really. I told him I wanted to stay. But I haven’t pushed him, because, well, I’m not sure he wants me.”

  And that did it. One large fat tear overflowed Nora’s lid and rolled down her cheek.

  She dashed it away as if she were angry at it for escaping. “I thought maybe you could.”

  “I think this is a subject you should discuss between the two of you. But believe me, your father loves both you and Lucas very much. And that—”

  Meri’s cell phone rang. She fished in her bag and pulled it out. “And speaking of dads, this is mine. I’ll just be a sec.” Meri went into her bedroom to take the call, not because she wanted privacy as much as . . . well, she wanted privacy.

  The call was short. He said he loved her and asked about her hand. They chatted for a second, then he said, “Gran called to say you met Everett Simmons today.”

  Meri heard the question behind his statement and wished she’d never heard of Simmons, but it was too late for that. “I did. It was a big mistake. I was kind of rude, didn’t take his shock into account, I guess. I mainly was concerned about genetics, for the future.”

  “I understand. And you have every right to want to know. Are you okay with what you found out?”

  “I didn’t find out much. He seems nice enough, but . . . well, he’s not you. Now I’m done with him. I don’t blame him; he didn’t know what had happened. I saw pictures of his family and they look really nice. I’m glad for him, but I don’t feel the need to see him ever again. Should I have asked you first?”

  “No, not at all. You know I’ll support any decision you make.”

  What was he talking about? “My decision is I love you and the boys bunches. And I’m the luckiest person in the world to have you.”

  She hung up feeling a little shaken. It wasn’t like her not to think things through before acting. And she had this time, not even thinking of the repercussions.

  Well, she’d learned what she needed to know. And there was an end to it.

  She came back to the living room to find Nora sitting exactly as she’d left her. “Is everything okay?” she asked.

  “Yeah,” Meri said. “Better than all right.” Meri had considered telling Nora about being adopted, so she would see how lucky she was to have both parents even if they didn’t live together—and hated each other. But Meri was the lucky one, lucky to have a loving family, to be a Calder.

  “Listen, let’s sleep on it and tomorrow we’ll figure out what to do. Now, let’s get your bed made up; we’ve got an early day tomorrow, then we’ll walk and eat and shop till we drop.”

  They made the bed. Nora used the bathroom first. And by the time Meri came out from her turn, she was fast asleep.

  It was late when Alden walked home from Therese’s. While he’d been there, sitting in the kitchen, lulled by the comfort of the food and the company, he’d felt like he could tackle anything that came his way.

  Out in the dark, with the sea air blowing cold and wet, he just felt alone.

  A cover of clouds had rolled in during the evening and they eased across the nearly full moon like a conjurer’s handkerchief. There might be rain. Most likely it would blow off by the morning.

  With the cheery light of Calder Farm behind him and the dark mass of Corrigan House waiting for him, he felt no desire to hurry home, no matter how biting the wind had become. The last show of force before spring set in.

  Why did he keep his house so dark? How hard was it just to flick a switch, turn a knob, and fill the rooms with a little warmth? He never thought about it. When it grew dark, he worked by his drafting lamp or turned on the reading lamp next to his chair.

  He could be living in a monk’s cell, for all the attention he paid to his house. Maybe he should sell it. Buy a smaller, more welcoming place, big enough for his children to visit. But not so big that he forgot vast parts of it even existed.

  Would Nora and Lucas care so much as long as they were still close to Gran and the sea? He knew of a couple of places closer to town but not so far away that he
couldn’t still get to Therese quickly if she needed him.

  But she’d be totally alone out here if he did. He couldn’t count on whoever bought the place to look after her. Maybe he should just wait.

  Alden didn’t go inside but walked around to the back where his studio looked out over the sea.

  He didn’t go in there, either, but took the sloping path to the beach. And stepped onto the smooth rocks.

  To his right the little patch of sandy beach showed silver against the bluffs. The tide was coming in, the waves were talkative, rumbling and crashing like laughter on the boulders of the breakwater, before rolling into the land.

  He imagined rambunctious elfin creatures in the drops of water climbing the boulders only to slide down again. A raucous party that suddenly turned dark in his mind. And the funny little creatures turned to the evil gnomes of his last project.

  He closed his eyes, shook his head to clear it. He wouldn’t be doing any more dark fantasies. They stayed with him too long after the work was finished.

  When he opened his eyes, he knew what he would see. A woman wild with fear, arms thrashing against the wind, and a small red dinghy tossed by the waves.

  Chapter 20

  Spending a whole day with a teenager turned out to be a lot more exhausting than Meri had imagined. They started out with a brisk walk on the Cliff Walk, which was completed in fits and starts because Nora stopped every time she saw something that interested her. First it was the sea and they spent some time trying to figure out if they could see the Sakonnet Yacht Club across the bay while Carlyn jogged in place.

  Then Nora turned around and saw the grand mansion overlooking the sea.

  “Wow! What is that?”

  Meri smiled. “The Breakers, the grandest of the Gilded Age cottages.”

  “A cottage? Really?”

  “That’s what they called them. Summer houses for the ridiculously rich. It belonged to the Vanderbilts.”

  “I’ve heard of them. It must have a hundred rooms.”

  “Only seventy,” Carlyn said. “Italian Renaissance palazzo style. Designed by Richard Morris Hunt. One mansion has a room made entirely of gold.”

  “You’re kidding.”

  “Nope. The Breakers is the grandest. but wait until you see the next one.”

  After that they stopped at every house for Nora to admire and ask questions. And for Meri and Carlyn to remember facts they’d thought they’d forgotten.

  “Hell, I pass these houses every other day. I work in a mansion-in-progress. Most of my work is done on historic sites, and you know, I’ve stopped looking. I just realized. Time for a refresher course.” Carlyn struck a pose then sang, “Time.”

  “Time . . .” Nora echoed.

  “Time . . .” Meri added.

  A couple of seconds of singing and jiving ensued.

  “She’s a natural,” Carlyn said, stopping the exhibition. They were beginning to draw a crowd.

  For the rest of the walk, Meri and Carlyn racked their brains for interesting anecdotes about the buildings and their sometimes scandalous owners in the Gilded Age.

  The walk took twice as long as usual, but they all enjoyed it thoroughly. There was a line at the pancake café so they stood outside, deciding what songs to sing at karaoke that night.

  It took almost a half hour before they were seated.

  “So I didn’t get a chance to ask you, what did Peter have to say for himself?”

  Meri blew on her hot coffee. Peter’s call had awakened her at five thirty that morning. She was about to begin her day, and he was just finishing his. He was definitely having a good time in California. “He got there, he loves it, his uncle took him out to dinner with some other people from the firm last night.” And who knew where else.

  “Did you tell him”—Carlyn paused, glanced quickly at Nora—“anything about what’s been going on?”

  “No, it seemed like not the right time.”

  “What’s going on?” Nora asked, frowning. “You’re not breaking up with him, are you?”

  “No, he’s just interning in L.A. for the summer.”

  “That sucks. Are you going to visit him?”

  Meri shrugged. “I think he’s probably going to be too busy to take any time off. I’ll see him when he gets back, and we’ll talk on the phone.”

  Nora stirred her hot chocolate. “That’s kind of lame.”

  “Tell me about it.”

  “Do you miss him?” Nora piled a forkful of blueberries, banana, and whipped cream in her mouth.

  Meri laughed and stabbed a strawberry off her waffle. “He’s only been gone for a day and, well, I’ve had other things on my mind.”

  “Like what?”

  “Just stuff.” What was she hiding? Nora had poured out her soul to Meri last night. She deserved the same respect. “I was adopted.”

  Nora put down her fork. Frowned at Meri. “You’re not really a Calder?”

  Across the table, Carlyn grimaced.

  “I wasn’t born a Calder.”

  “That sucks. You never said.”

  “That’s because I just found out last week.”

  “That really sucks. Are you freaked?”

  “I was at first, but since then I’ve come to understand that . . . well . . .” She smiled remembering that painful night she ran through the rain and across the dunes. “That family is more than a few minutes of indiscretion in the backseat of a car. I paraphrase.”

  Nora snorted out a laugh. “Let me guess. You’re quoting Dad.”

  Meri laughed. “Yes, how did you know?”

  “It sounds just like him, even”—she made air quotes with her fingers—“paraphrased.” She pursed her lips and said more quietly, “I guess I showed up at an awkward time.”

  “Not at all,” Meri said. “You’re a breath of fresh air. And just what I needed. Anyway, it’s over and life goes on.”

  “Does Peter care?”

  Meri exchanged a look with Carlyn. “Well, I haven’t told him yet.”

  “Wow.” Nora stabbed another bite of waffle and fruit and chewed. Swallowed. “But he won’t mind, will he?”

  “Of course not,” Carlyn said.

  “I hope not. Now, if I came from a family of the moneyed, pedigreed set . . .”

  “Like the families that own those mansions?”

  “Most of those families sold them years ago and they are owned or managed by different restoration and tourist organizations. But there are still some seriously rich people here. I’m just not one of them.”

  Alden hung up the phone. That had gone just about as bad as he’d expected.

  What started as a suggestion to Jennifer that she let Nora stay a few extra days at which time Alden would drive her down to New Haven ended with her accusing him of turning Nora against her. That was followed by her guilt ploys, which had stopped working years ago. Then it was back to accusations.

  But it reached a dead end the minute he suggested that they might want her to spend a little more time away from the family.

  He shouldn’t have bothered to be diplomatic; it never worked with Jennifer. She could always outyell and outblame; she always was the more wounded than he, more put upon than everyone else.

  For a full two minutes he just sat silent and tried not to listen as nastiness blossomed into out-and-out hysteria. The final straw was hearing Mark in the background, trying to soothe her, suggesting it might not be a bad idea, and then listening to her turn her rage on him.

  The woman had anger management problems. She was spoiled and self-centered and . . . He’d tried to stop himself from making judgments about her and succeeded most of the time. But today he wanted to tell her exactly what he thought of her.

  Alden was no fool. He couldn’t win against her unbridled need for attention. He shouldn’t have bothered. Better to let Nora think he hadn’t tried at all than to put her in the middle of it. Because he had no doubt Jennifer would find plenty of ways to take it out on Nora when they did g
o home.

  And what about Lucas? He wanted to talk to him, but he didn’t dare turn her attention toward him. “Perhaps we should discuss this when you’re feeling a little calmer.” That’s when the obscenities began.

  “Later.” He hung up. And now he just sat, turmoil raging once again like almost a decade hadn’t passed. He tried to focus on the fact that at least he’d gotten Nora and Lucas out of that loveless, thankless marriage.

  Jennifer had taken them and was punishing them for her unhappiness. When they were grown and gone, would she turn that bitterness on her new children?

  He didn’t envy Mark. He was just glad he was out of it. Now if he could just figure out a way to get his children back.

  His cell rang. It was her. Hadn’t she yelled enough? He considered not answering, but maybe Mark had convinced her to let Nora stay. He was probably sick of the whole blended family fiasco.

  He picked up.

  “Let me speak to Nora.”

  “She isn’t here.”

  “Where the hell is she?”

  “She’s spending the night in Newport.”

  “She insists on coming to see you and then flits off? Who’s she staying with? No, never mind; I can guess. Well, you just call them and tell them to get back there. We’re picking her up first thing tomorrow morning.”

  “You can’t—”

  “Have her ready.” She hung up.

  Alden clutched his phone, stopped himself just before he hurled it across the room. Those days were over. No matter what happened, he wouldn’t fall into that trap again.

  Therese was tired of sitting in the house. Tired of waiting for winter to pass. Tired of waiting for the snow and rain to let up. It was a beautiful day. A day for clearing and tilling the soil.

  Most days she never gave her childhood a thought. But days like this with a fresh mild breeze blowing off the water, she could almost smell the past. The cows, the straw in the barn, the horse dung she and her older sister pitched out of the stalls.

  She liked to ride on the tractor best. She’d loved standing behind her father, feet braced and holding on to his shoulders as they bumped over the rich soil. When he got too old to run the farm, he sold some to the AG trust and invested the money for his heirs. Therese only had one brother left. Her oldest sister had passed ten years before. And her brother four years before, just before she lost Laura. That was the year that Therese Calder grew old.